Flying Change Frustration

I practiced flying changes on my own today.  Worked on exercises from my lessons: Canter across the diagonal, focus on riding a straight line and keep my horse in front of my leg,  ask for the flying change at the end of the diagonal.  Execute flying changes at the letters A, E, C, and B around the arena, focus on getting the change on my aids at the letter while maintaining a balanced canter and counter-canter.  Count my canter strides out loud. Work on flying changes every 4 strides on the quarter line and on the diagonal, building up gradually from one change to 3 changes ON MY AIDS!

The exhilaration from January of this year when I successfully rode the series of flying changes for the first time has worn off with the hard work of disciplining my body and mind to achieve this every time.  (Link to January blog post)

My instructor says that I should be able to ride a flying change whenever and wherever I want to in the arena.  

Today, it seems that more often than not, I am not able to ride flying changes on my aids anytime anywhere.  Universo decides not to change and I lose count.  My aids are muddled and Universo decides to change early.  I don’t prepare enough and Universo blissfully canters on while I attempt to contort my body to a new lead that we aren’t on.  Universo is not balanced in the change and I lose count again. 

And finally, Universo takes over and changes whenever and wherever he wants to in the arena. 

It is days like this that make me feel like giving up in frustration.  But I can't.  I have a lesson at 9:00 am tomorrow.